Frequently asked
questions 

The two terms refer to the same phenomenon, but coercive control offers a broader view of conjugal violence, highlighting repeated behaviours and rules that persist over time rather than isolated events. 

It is a proven fact that in most cases of conjugal violence, the perpetrator is male, and the victim is female, with the consequences of men's violence being particularly destructive. 

Women are more likely than men to report physical injuries and psychological and emotional consequences resulting from violence. In 2021, in Québec, 100% of spousal homicide victims were women (INSPQ, 2022).

To find out more about how conjugal violence disproportionately affects women, particularly women at the crossroads of oppression, see the information sheet Is There a Typical Victim Profile?

Coercive control is the violent partner's ‘’toolbox’’. Psychological violence is one of the tools he can use to manipulate and dominate his partner.

But he can also use other forms of violence, such as economic violence, isolation and surveillance. These strategies can evolve, particularly after separation.  

It is the entirety of these controlling and violent behaviours that is referred to as coercive control.  

To find out more about the strategies used by an abusive partner, consult the Quick Reference Manifestations and examples of coercive control.

When we witness a couple in the middle of a dispute, we often lack the context of the relationship to fully understand what is going on. To help us determine whether there is coercive control, we need to ask ourselves:

• If violent, controlling behaviour is repeated.
• If these behaviours result in retaliation or threats of retaliation for not respecting the "rules" established by the perpetrator.  
• What is the intention behind these actions? Is there a desire to dominate, control the other partner and make her dependent?  

To learn more about the difference between couple conflict and coercive control, see the information sheet Coercive Control or Couples’ Quarrel?

Despite popular belief, physical violence is only one of the possible indications of danger. One study showed that in 1 in 3 cases of murder or attempted murder in a conjugal context, there had been no physical violence prior to the act.  

No physical violence does not mean there is no danger; on the contrary, it can be more dangerous. Obsessive jealousy, refusal to accept the separation and harassment are important indicators that should raise red flags.   
 
To learn more about the behaviours that should alert us, consult the information sheet Recognizing Danger.

A man who uses coercive control with his partner behaves differently in front of others, often appearing calm, pleasant, and kind, leaving those around them unaware of the violence.

Sometimes, certain violent behaviours taken separately can appear inoffensive or even normal.  This would include jealousy, cell phone geolocation, and the partner managing the couple’s money. 

To learn more about the warning signs, visit the page Identifying.

Often, at the beginning of a relationship, the abusive partner is not violent. He may even be kind and considerate. Little by little, he multiplies his strategies to manipulate and control his partner and prevent her from leaving him. He tries to make amends, promises to get help, tells her he can't live without her, that he loves her, and so on. He convinces her that she is to blame for what she suffers. He threatens her or creates an atmosphere of fear, and she is afraid for her safety and that of her children. He keeps telling her she's crazy and that no one will believe her if she talks about it.

It becomes increasingly difficult for her to leave the relationship. She may fear reprisals or be threatened with legal action by her (ex-)partner. She may be afraid of not being able to find alternative housing or fear being deported or separated from her children. She may worry that she’ll be placed in an institution if the perpetrator is a caregiver. She may fear for her children's safety if she has to leave them alone with him. The period around separation is considered the most dangerous. The victim perceives this danger and acts first and foremost to protect herself and her children. 

To find out more, see the information sheet Why Doesn’t She Just Leave?

Many of the women supported by shelters are experiencing a great deal of anxiety.  In the absence of physical violence, they see that the justice system and police have limited means of protecting them.

Currently, certain behaviours are recognized as crimes. These include:

• Criminal harassment (e.g., repeatedly following or behaving in a threatening manner);
• Threats (e.g., threats to kill or destroy property);
• Physical assaults (e.g., hitting or strangling).

However, current criminal offences do not cover the full extent of the control and violence experienced by women and their children. 

Adding a coercive control offence to criminal law would send a strong message to victims and perpetrators that these behaviours are neither acceptable nor tolerated by society.

Criminalizing coercive control would offer better protection for victims at an earlier stage and raise awareness of the full scope of conjugal violence beyond just physical violence.

For more information, see the information sheet Criminalizing Coercive Control.

Children have long been considered witnesses to conjugal violence, often described as being "exposed" to it.  

It is now recognized that children are victims of coercive control in their own right. They do not need to be directly targeted by their father's violence to suffer the consequences.  

Like their mothers, children experience distress, fear, shame, anger and helplessness. They change their behaviour in response to the climate of tension they live in. They can also be used by their father to undermine their mother.

To find out more about the impact of coercive control on children, see the information sheet Children: Co-Victims of Coercive Control.