Recognizing the Signs in Your Relationship
Abuse in intimate relationships is not always physical. It can manifest itself in less visible forms, including control, imposed rules or restrictions, veiled threats, or even isolation.
The following questions can help you understand whether you are experiencing or have experienced coercive control by a partner.
In general
- What happens at home when you don't give in to your partner's demands?
- What happens if you say you want to go out by yourself? See friends or family? Spend money on certain things? Register for activities? Take a training course?
Does your (ex-)partner:
- Ask you to explain who you're seeing, why you're late, where you've been?
- Monitor your calls, emails, or social media?
- Become jealous and possessive?
- Make hurtful or humiliating comments about the way you dress, your appearance, your parenting?
- Call you repeatedly to find out what you are doing, where you are and who you’re with?
- Control your money and how you spend it?
- Try to keep you away from your family or friends?
- Threaten to report you to the police or authorities (e.g., immigration, youth protection, etc.)?
Do you:
- Feel like you are "walking on eggshells" in your relationship; worry about your partner's reactions?
- Feel isolated from your friends and family, have no one to talk to?
- Do you often feel stressed or anxious about your relationship?
- Feel you have lost confidence in yourself and your abilities?
- Do you stop yourself from doing things because you are afraid of your partner's reactions?
Do you recognize yourself in one or more of these situations? Are you worried? Don't hesitate to ask for help from specialized resources.
Asking for Help
-
Specialized Resources
Learn more
If I'd known that coercive control existed, I think a warning bell would have rung for me. When I found out what it was, it was a great relief. It put into words what I was going through. I was right to be scared, it wasn't just in my head.
Keep in mind
- Conjugal violence isn't just about physical blows.
- Monitoring, isolating, threatening, and humiliating are signs of coercive control.
- Being afraid of your (ex-)partner is not normal.
Continue exploring
Share