Keep a Record of Your Experiences

Keeping a record of what you experience can be very useful. This information can help you to:

• Realize the extent of the violence you are experiencing.
• Have a clear vision of what is being done to you.
• Decide to file a criminal complaint.
• Assert your rights in the family courts: divorce, child custody.
• Inform Youth Protection of the family situation.

You can share this information with a professional, a police officer, or a lawyer. 

• Keep the evidence demonstrating how your partner controls your activities, including social interactions, property damage or his abuse of household pets. These may include documents, photos, screenshots of text messages, and threatening or harassing e-mails.
• Write down or record information about how he is controlling aspects of your life:  
  - Date and time 
  - Place 
  - What happened 
  - What was said 
  - Names and addresses or phone numbers of witnesses 
  - Whether someone called the police.  
• Show this information to someone you trust: a family member, friend, or co-worker. Tell them what happened. If you decide to report him, this will be helpful. 

• Certain controlling behaviours are criminal under the Criminal Code: criminal harassment, threats and harassing communications.  
• Since June 7, 2023, prosecutors from the Director of Criminal and Penal Prosecutions (DPCP) must take into account the presence of coercive control when deciding to 1) detain an accused person and 2) suggest conditions of release (Directive VIO-1 – conjugal violence).
• According to the law, coercive control is one of the elements that judges must consider when determining the child's best interests.  

The booklet This Isn’t Love, This Is Control can help you see your situation more clearly and take action if you wish. The booklet provides space to write down, in your own words, what you're experiencing.